I know this might sound weird, but even though I’m sitting at the Philly airport right now, it still hasn’t completely registered that this is actually happening. That’s not to say that I’m not ready or not excited. Trust me, I am! But have you ever planned something for over a year?
When you start out the planning, it seems so far off that you can easily
pretend it’s not real. There’s still plenty of time for you to panic and bail. You’re living two separate lives in your head – the one where you stay (we’ll call her “Stay” Lara), and the one where you go (“Go” Lara). Even at 6 months out, you can kind of ignore the truth. “Oh it’s still 6 months away now. I have nothing but time.”
Then that turns to 3 months and you’re doing things like confirming your plans and sitting at your computer with your pointer hovering over the “Buy Tickets” button on the airline website thinking, “So am I really going to do this? After you click that button, it’s happening whether you’re ready or not.” But the “Go” Lara takes over and you do it. That trauma quickly passes, allowing you to go back to the blissfully normal life of “Stay” Lara.
A month and a half out, you quit your job, and as you pull your boss aside, you realize that this is REALLY it. There’s no turning back now. There will only be one Lara in your head after this. But “Stay” Lara is a stubborn one, and after it’s over, life goes back to normal and there’s still another month of work where you can pretend that nothing is changing.
Three weeks and you start telling everyone and then it seems like you have to believe it, but I am apparently a professional at leading two separate lives in my head. “Stay” Lara is just more convincing and believable.
And now here I am, sitting in the airport. I am definitely “Go” Lara, but “Stay” Lara is putting up a fight. I’m sure it’ll all become real once I’m on a plane flying over the Atlantic… right?
Anyway, I promise I’m [mostly] mentally stable right now. Just overwhelmed. Be in Accra in 17 hours! Ready or not 🙂